X-Men 3: You Will Be Assimilated
May. 30th, 2006 09:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
liri
As if I'd be able to keep from sharing my views on this... And everyone else is doing it, so obviously I must as well.
I started reading comics when I was about fifteen. I had my learner's permit, and I'd drive my mother to the grocery store and hang around the magazine section while she shopped. I started out with the video game magazines but when I'd read all of them, I expanded into the comics. The first storyline I bought was the Age of Apocalypse crossover, which would have been after I was able to drive. I remember being able to see that the authors were happily playing fast and loose with the regular continuity, messing with established pairings and alliances and hairstyles and killing off fixtures of the comics, but it was like "they must be a couple or something in the main plot, going by the way she's screaming his name as he callously leaves her to die." It didn't mean much to me.
When it was over, the one that stuck, weirdly, was Excalibur; weirdly, because only one character from the mainline Excalibur team was present in the Age of Apocalypse version. On the other hand, the thing I liked about it was Warren Ellis rather than any given character, so it did make sense. I bought the main X-Men titles just to keep up with the plots, and a couple of others intermittently, but it was more the way that you keep reading every comic strip in the paper even though you know Drabble will just piss you off. At that time, I think Scott Lobdell was the main writer on Uncanny X-Men. Later - much, much later - I would read the term "Lobdellotomy" to refer to some ridiculous plot thing, and think "Oh, thank God, it wasn't just me."
But Excalibur. I loved Excalibur, despite the ludicrous art, and because I loved it and because I could now drive, and so I didn't have my mother saying "Honey, how much are those? I think you should put some of them back" (she always hated my comic book spending; when she was a kid, they were like a dime an issue. Maybe a nickel) I started buying back issues. And because fortune smiled on me, some of the first issues I bought were drawn by Alan Davis.
I mentioned Scott Lobdell. The main artist on Uncanny X-Men at the time was Joe Madureira. I was a deeply insecure sixteen-year-old. Comics weren't really a good thing for me. Alan Davis still drew, well... there's a gallery of his stuff on that same site I linked for Joe Madureira, and I can't find a very good example of the kind of thing that made me like him, but this image helps a bit - even though she was a shapeshifter, he usually drew Meggan with hips and thighs! She had a butt and people still thought she was hot! She appeared to have fat on her stomach in some poses, and her favored form was curvy, not just boob-enhanced. There were three female main characters, and they were all drawn with different bodies and faces. Do you know how rare that was in the comics at the time? For that matter, possibly now? I don't read American comics much anymore. This one, pinup-y though it is, illustrates that a bit; even the really buff Rachel has thighs, it's just that hers are muscular. Also, his writing often amused me, and like everyone who has ever read a comic featuring Kitty Pryde, I adored her.
Meanwhile, back in the comics that were being issued monthly, Kitty was falling in love with a snarky, cynical, hard-drinking Brit named Pete Wisdom who poked at the self-important "Xavier's dream" stuff. I like the Warren Ellis and Alan Davis Excaliburs like they're two different series featuring some of the same people, and I liked both of them more than I ever liked any of the other comics.
All this is by way of... well, of getting it off my chest, for one thing. It's not often that I have the chance or reason to post about my love of Excalibur. It's also by way of explaining that I never, ever, ever liked Colossus. EVER. I know longtime fans think he wasn't done justice in Warren Ellis's hands. I say, he speaks without contractions, gives himself a black steel pompadour in his powered-up form, and wears red and yellow shorts, or pants with the sides cut out; nothing Warren Ellis could do would change these things, and Lord knows he probably would have tried if he could. I wouldn't have liked him anyway, but having Kitty shoved back into his arms after Ellis's successor unceremoniously wrote Wisdom out of her life and then other writers killed him - twice, if memory serves - was just adding insult to injury.
Other characters I never liked: Storm, again because she spoke without contractions, also because keeping your hair that long when you have wind powers is the mark of an unregenerate drama queen; Wolverine, because of all the shameless fanboy pandering involving him and the "bub" thing and all the other catchphrases; Cyclops, because I know the fans defend him, but when I was reading it, he was dull, and also, his big old stupid elderly time-traveling son forced the removal of Rachel from Excalibur through a process I never fully understood; Professor X, because he was never ever wrong, even when I thought he was being really morally questionable, and it pissed me off; and Gambit, because his accent annoyed me.
So you can see how I was surprised when I really, really liked the first movie, adored the second despite the Kurt/Ororo, and actually liked Logan. I was so not expecting to like Logan! And that's why I was worried about the third; I didn't think they could keep it up.
Spoilers from here on out. SERIOUS spoilers, in no particular order.
First of all, MOIRA!!! I loved Moira! I was so pissed off that they let her death stick in the comics! I'm so glad she's in this continuity now!
I didn't realize until the credits that the kid they were using for the cure was Leech! I remember him from Generation X (the other title I liked from back in my Excalibur days; I was so pissed that Jubilee/Synch never happened...)
The opening, I dunno... twenty minutes or so? Until Jean and Logan made out, anyway - felt like that part in one of the comics where one of them will say "He hasn't been the same since she died," and there'll be a footnote saying "See ish 38 for details!" After the making out everything except the scenes with Storm got really cool. Actually, there was some good stuff before that, too - the Professor's admission that he'd blocked parts of Jean's powers and personality, and Logan's reaction - but it didn't pick up until the mackin'.
I really liked that the Professor's occasional complete lack of ethics was brought in here.
I didn't like that the Magneto/Mystique thing was treated implicitly as an affair ("She used to be so beautiful" and the "woman scorned" line) and not a partnership, but selling him out is the kind of thing she'd do, and his rejection was well-played.
Poor Scott. All he really got to do was display the Stubble of Grief, the Motorcycle Ride of Angst, and the Screaming of Instability.
Poor Jean. All she really got to do was stand around impassively and steal special effects from Evil Willow, and she didn't even get to do much dark stuff until the end, either! Well, she did get to make out with Hugh Jackman. But nowhere near enough fire effect!
The Logan/Jean redemption thing: Somebody watched the Lodoss OVA....
Any scene with Storm in it sucked except the one where she hugged Hank. What was that about? Someone would say something - "There may be a cure for mutancy," or "Maybe we should close the school," and you'd think there was going to be some discussion of it, or consideration of it, and then Storm would say "Screw that, I have an opinion and it's right." Storm, your boyfriend from the last movie was blue, one might think you'd understand how some people could be happier being rid of their mutations, even if you differ strongly. All her scenes seemed awfully rushed, too - it's like she had a contractual mandate that she had to be in a certain number of scenes, but she was too busy being beautiful and doing whatever Oscar-winner-y things she does - I mean, what else has she been in lately? - to be in long scenes.
Not only was I pleased to see Hank, but I was unable to stop giggling once he suited up and got into fights because of the notion of a Cabinet secretary snarling and punching tattooed mutant punks in the face. I was really glad he was in the movie though!
The Morlocks were done better and more subtly than I expected. And if grinning openly while Callisto tosses Storm around the Greys' living room is wrong, I don't want to be right.
Secretary Trask, huh? That and the Sentinel in the Danger Room - I wouldn't be surprised if that's the way the fourth movie goes. My brother was speculating that a sequel would have to involve Apocalypse, but I don't see how you could do Apocalypse in the movies without having him be completely fucking ludicrous.
It was neat to see Jean's poltergeisting effect, always such a signature of her powers in the comics, though it would have been nice if it had turned up in the other two movies.
That scene in the Blackbird may have been meant to convey fear or dread or inner turmoil, but mostly I was thinking "Kitty, don't just sit there with your mouth hanging open, sweetie, you're not the dumb one in this love triangle." (And I like movie!Rogue, more than the comics version...) I thought it was nice that the Bobby/Kitty leg of the triangle wasn't really going anywhere at any rate; it was more just that it meant "normal" to Rogue, I thought. Though I might be giving the movie a bit much credit. Speaking of that, she mentioned "the first snow" in her homesickness... are they not in New York? I know it's not arctic up there, but, you know, it's not that far south, and it looked like spring. And Kitty's supposed to be from Chicago, not Greenland. Why on earth would she be missing snow at that time of year? Storm keeps it temperate all year round? Actually, that would explain it. She did get to kick some ass against Juggernaut, though, so imagine what she could do with her supernatural ninja powers!
Colossus was totally accent-free! Huzzah! I do wish he and Bobby wouldn't make their hair look so stupid when they transform, but you can't have everything.
And they killed Scott and Jean before they could breed! I can't have been alone in cheering, right? Well... I liked both characters well enough in the movies - for that matter, I liked Jean in the comics, for reasons I could never determine - and one of their spawn, Rachel, just ruled, though they didn't give her a series of her own, but the Summers bloodline shall never haunt the movies! Except maybe if they bring in Havok, but I always liked him, so that'd be okay with me.
Forgot to mention how much I liked Magneto and Pyro lobbing cars as Molotov cocktails.
You know, I don't really know if I liked it or not, come to think of it. I certainly enjoyed it, but that's not always the same thing. Then again, enjoying it is more than a lot of the fans seem to be doing, so hell, mark me down on the side of mostly-uncritical squealing, because Hank! Callisto! Kitty! Not much screentime for Storm!
I started reading comics when I was about fifteen. I had my learner's permit, and I'd drive my mother to the grocery store and hang around the magazine section while she shopped. I started out with the video game magazines but when I'd read all of them, I expanded into the comics. The first storyline I bought was the Age of Apocalypse crossover, which would have been after I was able to drive. I remember being able to see that the authors were happily playing fast and loose with the regular continuity, messing with established pairings and alliances and hairstyles and killing off fixtures of the comics, but it was like "they must be a couple or something in the main plot, going by the way she's screaming his name as he callously leaves her to die." It didn't mean much to me.
When it was over, the one that stuck, weirdly, was Excalibur; weirdly, because only one character from the mainline Excalibur team was present in the Age of Apocalypse version. On the other hand, the thing I liked about it was Warren Ellis rather than any given character, so it did make sense. I bought the main X-Men titles just to keep up with the plots, and a couple of others intermittently, but it was more the way that you keep reading every comic strip in the paper even though you know Drabble will just piss you off. At that time, I think Scott Lobdell was the main writer on Uncanny X-Men. Later - much, much later - I would read the term "Lobdellotomy" to refer to some ridiculous plot thing, and think "Oh, thank God, it wasn't just me."
But Excalibur. I loved Excalibur, despite the ludicrous art, and because I loved it and because I could now drive, and so I didn't have my mother saying "Honey, how much are those? I think you should put some of them back" (she always hated my comic book spending; when she was a kid, they were like a dime an issue. Maybe a nickel) I started buying back issues. And because fortune smiled on me, some of the first issues I bought were drawn by Alan Davis.
I mentioned Scott Lobdell. The main artist on Uncanny X-Men at the time was Joe Madureira. I was a deeply insecure sixteen-year-old. Comics weren't really a good thing for me. Alan Davis still drew, well... there's a gallery of his stuff on that same site I linked for Joe Madureira, and I can't find a very good example of the kind of thing that made me like him, but this image helps a bit - even though she was a shapeshifter, he usually drew Meggan with hips and thighs! She had a butt and people still thought she was hot! She appeared to have fat on her stomach in some poses, and her favored form was curvy, not just boob-enhanced. There were three female main characters, and they were all drawn with different bodies and faces. Do you know how rare that was in the comics at the time? For that matter, possibly now? I don't read American comics much anymore. This one, pinup-y though it is, illustrates that a bit; even the really buff Rachel has thighs, it's just that hers are muscular. Also, his writing often amused me, and like everyone who has ever read a comic featuring Kitty Pryde, I adored her.
Meanwhile, back in the comics that were being issued monthly, Kitty was falling in love with a snarky, cynical, hard-drinking Brit named Pete Wisdom who poked at the self-important "Xavier's dream" stuff. I like the Warren Ellis and Alan Davis Excaliburs like they're two different series featuring some of the same people, and I liked both of them more than I ever liked any of the other comics.
All this is by way of... well, of getting it off my chest, for one thing. It's not often that I have the chance or reason to post about my love of Excalibur. It's also by way of explaining that I never, ever, ever liked Colossus. EVER. I know longtime fans think he wasn't done justice in Warren Ellis's hands. I say, he speaks without contractions, gives himself a black steel pompadour in his powered-up form, and wears red and yellow shorts, or pants with the sides cut out; nothing Warren Ellis could do would change these things, and Lord knows he probably would have tried if he could. I wouldn't have liked him anyway, but having Kitty shoved back into his arms after Ellis's successor unceremoniously wrote Wisdom out of her life and then other writers killed him - twice, if memory serves - was just adding insult to injury.
Other characters I never liked: Storm, again because she spoke without contractions, also because keeping your hair that long when you have wind powers is the mark of an unregenerate drama queen; Wolverine, because of all the shameless fanboy pandering involving him and the "bub" thing and all the other catchphrases; Cyclops, because I know the fans defend him, but when I was reading it, he was dull, and also, his big old stupid elderly time-traveling son forced the removal of Rachel from Excalibur through a process I never fully understood; Professor X, because he was never ever wrong, even when I thought he was being really morally questionable, and it pissed me off; and Gambit, because his accent annoyed me.
So you can see how I was surprised when I really, really liked the first movie, adored the second despite the Kurt/Ororo, and actually liked Logan. I was so not expecting to like Logan! And that's why I was worried about the third; I didn't think they could keep it up.
Spoilers from here on out. SERIOUS spoilers, in no particular order.
First of all, MOIRA!!! I loved Moira! I was so pissed off that they let her death stick in the comics! I'm so glad she's in this continuity now!
I didn't realize until the credits that the kid they were using for the cure was Leech! I remember him from Generation X (the other title I liked from back in my Excalibur days; I was so pissed that Jubilee/Synch never happened...)
The opening, I dunno... twenty minutes or so? Until Jean and Logan made out, anyway - felt like that part in one of the comics where one of them will say "He hasn't been the same since she died," and there'll be a footnote saying "See ish 38 for details!" After the making out everything except the scenes with Storm got really cool. Actually, there was some good stuff before that, too - the Professor's admission that he'd blocked parts of Jean's powers and personality, and Logan's reaction - but it didn't pick up until the mackin'.
I really liked that the Professor's occasional complete lack of ethics was brought in here.
I didn't like that the Magneto/Mystique thing was treated implicitly as an affair ("She used to be so beautiful" and the "woman scorned" line) and not a partnership, but selling him out is the kind of thing she'd do, and his rejection was well-played.
Poor Scott. All he really got to do was display the Stubble of Grief, the Motorcycle Ride of Angst, and the Screaming of Instability.
Poor Jean. All she really got to do was stand around impassively and steal special effects from Evil Willow, and she didn't even get to do much dark stuff until the end, either! Well, she did get to make out with Hugh Jackman. But nowhere near enough fire effect!
The Logan/Jean redemption thing: Somebody watched the Lodoss OVA....
Any scene with Storm in it sucked except the one where she hugged Hank. What was that about? Someone would say something - "There may be a cure for mutancy," or "Maybe we should close the school," and you'd think there was going to be some discussion of it, or consideration of it, and then Storm would say "Screw that, I have an opinion and it's right." Storm, your boyfriend from the last movie was blue, one might think you'd understand how some people could be happier being rid of their mutations, even if you differ strongly. All her scenes seemed awfully rushed, too - it's like she had a contractual mandate that she had to be in a certain number of scenes, but she was too busy being beautiful and doing whatever Oscar-winner-y things she does - I mean, what else has she been in lately? - to be in long scenes.
Not only was I pleased to see Hank, but I was unable to stop giggling once he suited up and got into fights because of the notion of a Cabinet secretary snarling and punching tattooed mutant punks in the face. I was really glad he was in the movie though!
The Morlocks were done better and more subtly than I expected. And if grinning openly while Callisto tosses Storm around the Greys' living room is wrong, I don't want to be right.
Secretary Trask, huh? That and the Sentinel in the Danger Room - I wouldn't be surprised if that's the way the fourth movie goes. My brother was speculating that a sequel would have to involve Apocalypse, but I don't see how you could do Apocalypse in the movies without having him be completely fucking ludicrous.
It was neat to see Jean's poltergeisting effect, always such a signature of her powers in the comics, though it would have been nice if it had turned up in the other two movies.
That scene in the Blackbird may have been meant to convey fear or dread or inner turmoil, but mostly I was thinking "Kitty, don't just sit there with your mouth hanging open, sweetie, you're not the dumb one in this love triangle." (And I like movie!Rogue, more than the comics version...) I thought it was nice that the Bobby/Kitty leg of the triangle wasn't really going anywhere at any rate; it was more just that it meant "normal" to Rogue, I thought. Though I might be giving the movie a bit much credit. Speaking of that, she mentioned "the first snow" in her homesickness... are they not in New York? I know it's not arctic up there, but, you know, it's not that far south, and it looked like spring. And Kitty's supposed to be from Chicago, not Greenland. Why on earth would she be missing snow at that time of year? Storm keeps it temperate all year round? Actually, that would explain it. She did get to kick some ass against Juggernaut, though, so imagine what she could do with her supernatural ninja powers!
Colossus was totally accent-free! Huzzah! I do wish he and Bobby wouldn't make their hair look so stupid when they transform, but you can't have everything.
And they killed Scott and Jean before they could breed! I can't have been alone in cheering, right? Well... I liked both characters well enough in the movies - for that matter, I liked Jean in the comics, for reasons I could never determine - and one of their spawn, Rachel, just ruled, though they didn't give her a series of her own, but the Summers bloodline shall never haunt the movies! Except maybe if they bring in Havok, but I always liked him, so that'd be okay with me.
Forgot to mention how much I liked Magneto and Pyro lobbing cars as Molotov cocktails.
You know, I don't really know if I liked it or not, come to think of it. I certainly enjoyed it, but that's not always the same thing. Then again, enjoying it is more than a lot of the fans seem to be doing, so hell, mark me down on the side of mostly-uncritical squealing, because Hank! Callisto! Kitty! Not much screentime for Storm!